Book 3 – Chapter 9 - A New Beginning – Excerpt 3-11

1998 May 11 – The Heart Centre

Today I viewed the house I had previously mentioned, the one with the Harley Davidson motor bike in the living room. It had a lot of potential as there were actually three separate units within the one building. There was the large open concept living room/dining room that went the length of the house that would suit the needs of the store. It had two sets of double French doors from the hallway that were lockable. There was another large lockable meeting room off the hallway, which I think could have been the original kitchen. This room had its own outside entrance at the front of the house, and was large enough that it would easily seat fifteen to twenty people. It also had an adjoining room that I think used to be a pantry, but was now a two-piece bathroom. From this large meeting room, you could also access another large lockable addition with its own outside rear entrance that could be used as an office. On the second floor, there was a large kitchen and two large bedrooms that could be made into treatment rooms, or suitable for a small group. There was also a bathroom with an old white, cast iron tub. On the third floor was an open loft that could be made into a bedroom with a sitting area. It also had a roughed in bathroom and a small operational kitchen unit and sink. The basement was unfinished and could be used for storage. The backyard had a parking lot with enough space to park at least six cars. There was free parking on the street, and if needed, there was a large municipal parking lot just down the block with free parking after 5 pm.

I felt that I could make the loft my bedroom and private space, and share the kitchen and second floor bathroom, and maybe use one of the two rooms on the second floor as a treatment room/living room. The rest of the house would be used for the Centre. It needed a lot of work as all the carpets had to come out and the hardwood floors would have to be re-done. There was also major work in repairing damaged wall plaster and missing or broken windows, screens and doors. The whole place needed to be painted, including the ceilings. We discussed rent and also what was needed to make the place acceptable, both as a business venture and as a home. I agreed to do the renovations in exchange for rent, and he agreed to supply all the materials. I received the keys to the property and was excited as I felt we now had a Centre and a new beginning.

1998 Aug. 28 - I’m still caught up in getting things ready so that the Centre can officially open. Having missed the Aug. 1 opening date, I was trying hard to get the Centre open for Sept 1, but that is not going to happen. It’s all the little loose ends that take time and energy, and I can’t proceed to clear up the next loose end until this one is finished. Sometimes I just feel it’s a hopeless cause, or a dream that will never materialize, as what seems like a minor issue somehow becomes a mountain, and what should have taken a couple of hours, takes a week. There is also no one that I can delegate to help me do these jobs, as there is no one physically helping me in the store that I can count on.

Jen is still unable to be in the store as she says that she is not feeling well or that the new carpet and paint smells overpower her, even though I’ve left the windows open round the clock to air out the place. She insists that she will be physically harmed by the odors that I can’t even smell anymore. Instead of finding the cause, she’s happy to blame the outside world for her problems and issues, and this is also creating a lot of conflict as I feel that she will always find some problem to not be in the Centre, although she denies that and states otherwise. While she is too sick to be in the Centre, she is not too sick to have visitors and do things with them. We have been fighting a lot more as we are getting deeper and deeper into our real issues. That is also morally discouraging, as what was a joint dream now seems to be falling apart even before it begins.