Book 2 – Chapter 11 - Denial - Excerpt 2-9
The fundamental success of deceit, lies, omission, avoidance and denials in today’s society lies in our own self-deception, as our outer reality is a reflection of our inner reality. We see and hear only what we want to see and hear, and are blind to anything that is not our truth. We are imprinted and programmed with false and twisted beliefs, that not only encourage us to deceive others, but also ourselves. This imprinting and programming begins when we’re born and continues for the rest of our lives. Classic examples of how Western society programs this deceit into our vulnerable children’s minds is through religion and our customs and traditions like Santa Clause, the Easter bunny and tooth fairy. Our education and media systems are also key instruments that are used to program our Minds. By the age of four, children have already learned to lie and deny, and with age and experience, they hone their talents to a fine craft. The better they are at their craft, the more successful they are at controlling and manipulating others in their reality. They learn to hide their real emotions and only express, or act out, any emotions that serve their cause. They also learn to use words as a tool to twist any form of confrontation to their favor. They know how to create doubt and fear and are also experts at using guilt and shame to manipulate others to do their bidding.
Ending denials is not easy or simple, as before you can begin to end your denials, you have to know what your denials are. Not only do you need to know what, but also who, where, when, why and how these denials came to be part of your reality. While a dictionary will give you the definition of denial, ending personal denials is a lot more involved. If denials were simple to end, there would be no need for this book. Denial or no denial, that’s pretty black and white. Denials that are made with conscious intent are fairly obvious to spot once intent to end denials has been made and practiced. Unconscious denials, denials that have been put in place by imprints, programs and beliefs are not so simple to spot as the unseen role of denial creates a fog in the conscious Mind that hides the denial from being seen for what it really is. Once you are aware of it and can see and feel the truth, then you can again see denial as being black and white and of having a choice.
While I’m on the topic of black and white, a little white lie is still a lie and a denial, and no matter how you justify and defend it, it is still a lie and unloving. As I have already mentioned, the classic examples of white lies include Santa Clause, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, or any other falsehood that is intended to deceive another. While parents may justify the lie as small and insignificant, what they fail to realize is that when a child finally learns the truth of how their parents lied, denied and deceived them, they are programmed that lying is acceptable, and is the good and the right thing to do. Later the parents are shocked and dumbfounded when their children lie and deny, and then with a pompous, self-righteous attitude they exclaim, “I/we never raised our child/children to lie, I/we don’t know where they got that from, must be their friends or school.” They say this while oblivious to the fact that they are living proof of how these little white lies and denials affect another, especially a young and trusting child that looks to its parents as a role model.
Your denials are the locks on the door of fear to the room that contains your lost power and essence, and is what is keeping you from recovering and healing the lost parts of you and becoming whole and all that you are. If a person has the intent to end their denials and to open and walk through the door and heal and empower themselves, that is their personal choice and they can only do it when they are ready. Most people that are looking to heal want it to be nice, easy, safe, painless and as quick as possible. People have all kinds of healing methods and stories about exposing and ending denial, along with a host of mental excuses and reasons why healing is not taking place. I have a different story to tell about denial, but most people I’ve met try to convince me that their story and method, the one that fails, is the right one. They can try to sell it, but I’m not buying it. I’ve heard the story before as I’ve been there done that and know it doesn’t work. I now know what works for me and is the reason I’m writing my books. Whether it works for you is only something that you can prove for yourself. I know that once I opened the door and began to end my personal denials, I was empowered. I also knew I couldn't go back to being deaf, dumb and blind anymore. So here I am. I’m not perfect. I'm still in denial with the issues I still have to heal, and I am always working on healing them. Presently, I feel that I have a foot in two worlds, two different realities, the old world of denial of the truth and the new one where truth and love are expressed.