Book 2 – Chapter 14 - Control and Protection – Excerpt 2-10
Being in Control
Being in control of your life doesn’t give you freedom, it makes you a prisoner of your own judgments and conditions. Having to be in control is based on a denied fear of having no power or control. These imprints, programs and beliefs set you up to be in a state of constant vigilance and anxiety, as you are always trying to maintain control of other people or things around you so that you feel powerful and safe. If you feel you are powerless and have no control over the outside world that is affecting you, then you try to control yourself to avoid anyone or anything that you feel is trying to control or attack you. You may feel you need to isolate yourself or surround yourself in a protective bubble that will keep others out and you safe, but the bubble also makes you a prisoner of your own beliefs and judgments. While you may feel that your method of control works, when examined, you will really see how confined and limited your world really is.
To have the freedom you desire, instead of trying to be in control of your outer reality or controlling yourself, you need to do the opposite and let go of being in control. Letting go and doing the opposite of what you believe keeps you safe, goes against all your instincts that are based on your imprints, programs and beliefs, and that is the hardest thing you need to face if healing is your intent. You need to understand that your real issue of control is that of controlling your Will and in not trusting your intuition, feelings and emotions and allowing them free expression. Freedom and free Will is about speaking up and expressing yourself in the moment when your imprints, programs and beliefs, or others, say that you should be quiet. The normal (denial) thing that you have been doing is to keep your mouth shut, and then, after the fact, when you feel safe, you angrily complain that others said this or that, or did this or did that to offend or attack you. It’s the freedom that you give yourself that not only sets you free from being controlled by others, but also for your need to be in control of others. It also gives you the freedom to explore the whole world and not just what is in the confines of your little protective bubble. Wanting others to change to make you happy is a control issue and is an example of the unseen role of denial.
Feeling that you are being controlled by others is a reflection of what you are doing to yourself. – Shenreed